I have a pet troll He just followed me home I have tried to get rid of him I tried running away But he thinks that’s play Plus he’s so big it’s hard to out run him I tried telling him the truth That he smells and is rude But he’s too thick to let words change him He farts all the time And stinks up my life But his flatulence doesn’t phase him His small troll brain Believes I am insane To be repulsed by the goop that encrusts him I have tried washing bits off But he throws tantrums and balks Thrashing like I’m trying to hurt him Still, he follows wherever I go I guess, what else does he know He’s a troll.