My Troll

I have a pet troll
He just followed me home
I have tried to get rid of him 

I tried running away
But he thinks that’s play
Plus he’s so big it’s hard to out run him

I tried telling him the truth
That he smells and is rude
But he’s too thick to let words change him

He farts all the time
And stinks up my life
But his flatulence doesn’t phase him

His small troll brain
Believes I am insane
To be repulsed by the goop that encrusts him

I have tried washing bits off
But he throws tantrums and balks
Thrashing like I’m trying to hurt him

Still, he follows wherever I go
I guess, what else does he know
He’s a troll. What’s to be done with him 

I do my best to ignore his presence 
Then the big troll flops down on my chest
Seems there’s no getting rid of him

So I have a pet troll
And it’s starting to take a toll
Because there’s no building bridges with him

He just stands in the way like a pest
Asking stupid questions about a quest 
As if I’m trying to play a trick on him

But the troll oaf 
Followed me home
As if I’d appreciate him

His burps and belches
His scratches and squelches
But there is simply no telling him

That he is mean 
An unkind thing
Clubbing everything around him

No one wants to come around
Because of the troll’s insensitive sounds
And the stench that always surrounds him

He leaves a bad taste in the mouth
And you’ll probably get hurt somehow
If you’re brave enough to engage or acknowledge him

This stinking troll
Who followed me home
I just can’t get rid of him