Pet Sitter

Thought I was good at my job
As a pet sitter
Even though the job was odd.

Two hun’rd bucks for a day
And I’d sit your pet.
A very good deal I say.

But all my clients got mad.
They said I done bad 
Cuz their pets was all real sad.

Big ones might be tired or
Droopin to the floor
Or angrier than before. 

I just did what the job said,
But the judge went red
At the plea my lawyer read.

Can’t help it if a hamster
Is just so pampered 
Can’t take a fart disaster.

And that turtle bit my crack.
So, yeah, while I sat
My bum landed on its back. 

Pet sitters take a few risks
When they say they’ll sit,
But that’s all just part of it.

The job ain’t for everyone. 
Sittin on them pets,
You gotta have a strong bum.

Sometimes things go a bit wrong
With the little ones,
But they still hire my bum.

It’s just one of those odd jobs
Like those who house sit.
Some roof peaks can really prod.

But the hardest one of all
Is baby sittin.
Kids cry and wiggle and crawl.

Don’t tell the judge ‘bout that one.
It’s the most common.
If pet sittin’s a prob'm…

You ain’t saw nuh’n…